We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
