so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
