Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
