Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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