i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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