What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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