Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
