Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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