The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
