So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
