Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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