My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
