my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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