So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
