You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
