We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
