She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So much rum. So many feels.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize