It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize