i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
