I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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