Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
