How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
