I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
