I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
