I wish i was in the wii world.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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