I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize