watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
