She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
