garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
