is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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