New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
