i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize