can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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