I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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