She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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