garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
