Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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