I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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