I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
