mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
