Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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