Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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