flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
