don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
