Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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