It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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