its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
