you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
