at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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