I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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