I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize