your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
