Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you win again, gameday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
