I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i drank out of a bidet.
Houston, we have a squirter
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
