She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm just crazy horny about you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
