"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
