by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
